I'll meet you by the paddock
by Iprederdedicatedfan
Summary: This story takes place a little less than a year after the ending of the show. Someone from Stevie's past shows up and we get to know a new side of her.


This story takes place a little less than a year after the last episode of season 8. Someone from Stevie's past shows up and we get to know a new side of her. No offence to any Stevie and Alex shippers but this is the storyline I would have wanted to see on the show.

**Disclaimers:** Most of the characters are not mine, the copyright belongs to Nine Networks and I'm just borrowing them for my own entertainment. However a few of them are creations of my own mind and I claim full possession of them, especially of Chris ;-)

This is my first fan fiction ever so please let me know what you think; I can't improve anything if I don't know what's wrong. And positive feedback is also very welcome 

**I'll meet you by the paddock**

**Chapter 1**

A crowded village pub somewhere in South Australia, a redhead walked up to the bar:

"Can I have four beers, please mate."

"Stevie? Stevie Hall, is that you?" The blonde across the bar called out with a smile on her face.

"Chris? Wow, long time no see. It's been forever, how have you been? What have you been up to?"

"Ah, you know a little bit of everything, travelling, working that sort of thing. What about you? Didn't expect meeting you out here."

"Well, actually I've been living out here for a while now." Stevie smiled at her old friend. "Come meet my friends and we'll do some catching up. What are you doing in town anyway?" They arrived at the table where the rest of the group was sitting. "Hey guys look who I found, Chris meet the McLeod mafia. You remember Grace, right?"

"Sure, Hey Grace, good to see you again" Chris was happy to see another familiar face.

"And these are her sisters Regan and Jasmine."

"Wow that is a lot of McLeods, nice to meet you all."

"And that's not even all of us; we have one cousin back at the farm and another one in Argentina. But it's been a long time Chris, I haven't seen you since you left the rodeo and what was that, like ten years ago?" Grace looked up at the woman that she hadn't seen in so many years.

"Oh, don't even bring it up, I feel so old. So you're all living out here?"

"Yep, we're running the family farm here, Drover's Run" Regan added.

"Ah, of course, you're all related to Claire. I was really sorry to hear about her accident." Chris thought for a moment about the young woman that she had once known and the sadness that she had felt when she had found out that she had died in a car accident.

"Yeah, we never even got to know her. And her sister Tess went off to Argentina and then the rest of us just ended up being drawn here for different reasons. And once you get here it's kind of hard to leave. So now we're all running the place with Stevie and our cousin Jodi."

"Really, good on you mate" Chris turned back to her friend "seems like you've got a nice set up out here then. All settled, I bet you've got the husband and kids part down too."

That statement caused a sad smile on Stevie's face "Well, I was married…you remember Alex Ryan?

"Yeah, of course. You married him? Actually I'm not surprised at all, there was always something there wasn't there? I can totally see that pairing."

The sadness reflected in Stevie's eyes was obvious now and the others were feeling slightly awkward about the situation. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No, no you didn't…it's just…there was an accident…he died, it's been almost two years now but the explaining part is always a bit difficult."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Stevie, I can only imagine how hard it must have been."

"Yeah, it's been rough. But he gave me a beautiful son, Xander, and he's the main reason I was able to get through it all. I didn't have much choice you know, I had to be there for him. And then I have my daughter Rose, who's away at Uni already. So that's it about me basically. What have you been doing since the rodeo times?" Stevie was eager to move on from a topic that was still difficult to talk about.

"Ah, like I said, I did some travelling, worked all over. I lived in the city for a while, trying to find myself and all that stuff you know. Some good times, some bad, at least I found out the city life wasn't for me." Chris was not all that eager to talk about herself either.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I don't think I could stand the prospect of not being able to wake up to a sunrise over Drover's. Taking a ride over those beautiful hills, it's addictive really. You should come see it. How long are you in town for? You never did say what you were doing here."

"I'm just passing through really, looking for some work up north maybe."

"Well, if you're not in a hurry we could always use some help with the shearing. Right girls? It won't make you rich but you'll have food and lodging and it would be great to catch up a bit more."

"Are you sure? Cause I wouldn't mind staying for a few days, if you have the room of course." Chris did like the sound of that idea, Stevie was someone that she had though a lot about over the years and it would be nice to spend some time with her.

"Sure, there's plenty of room and an extra pair of hands are always welcome. Especially considering that we've got two kids to look after now and dealing with the sheep never really was my strength" Jasmine added to the conversation.

"Right, it's settled then. Why don't you come out in the morning and we'll find you something to do. In the meantime, who wants another beer?" Stevie stood to make another bar run.

* * *

Sun rose to another day over the fields and hills of Drover's Run as a blue ute pulled up by the main house and a tall blonde got out.

"Ah, Chris there you are, I was starting to think you'd changed your mind." Stevie walked up to the car with a teasing smile on her face.

"Mate, the sun is hardly up. What do you want from me, I got up extra early for you." Chris smiled back.

"For me, huh? I thought you were used to farm hours."

"Well, but I'll get never used to stumbling out of bed before the sun is even up."

"That might explain all your travelling. It wasn't about finding yourself, you just had to move on because your bosses got tired of you never showing up on time." Stevie couldn't help but tease her friend a bit more, it really was good to see her again.

"That is not true, I might love lie-ins but I'm a damn good worker. Finding yourself is not as easy for everyone you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I remember what you were like back in the day. What do you say we go and actually get some sheering done instead of standing around chatting about it all day?"

* * *

"Hey, ladies the reinforcements have arrived. Chris, this is Jodi and you remember the others from last night." The two women arrived at the shearing shed where the others were already at work.

"Yeah, sure. Hi, everyone! You've got some work for me then?"

"Sure do, how about you start helping Jodi out with the wool classifying, you do have experience right?" Regan inquired.

"Well, I've been on a farm or two in the past. I think I can manage." Chris smiled.

"Great, let's get started then, we've got a lot of work ahead of us."

"So, Chris, I bet you have tons of war stories about Stevie from back in the day. She's all grown up and serious now, well sort of anyway, but I seem to remember her having more of a wild past." Jodi stated while throwing a huge pile of wool on the table in front of them.

The smile on Chris's face had more levels than Jodi was able to appreciate. "Oh, I'm not sure you'd even want to know about some of them" she responded. "But, there were some good times for sure. I guess we all have to grow up some time though. Sounds like she's had a bit of a rough time lately."

"Yeah, losing Alex like that just when she'd finally gotten everything she'd dreamt of, that's been really hard on her. But she's been working through it, when I got back here she still felt bad even about smiling."

"Ah, so you've been away from here? I can see why you came back, this place is beautiful."

"Yeah, you know I grew up wanting to get out of here, I wanted to see the world, live the glamorous life in the city and all that. But then when I had no choice but to leave it was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I came back first chance I got. Maybe you should be careful because this place tends to get under your skin."

"I can totally see that happening", Chris stated. "This place has a lot of attractions. And I know what you mean about the city it's really not all it's made out to be, can't see myself going back there either."

"You lived in the city? What did you do there?" Jodi asked curiously.

"A little of everything, bartending mostly. The city served its purpose for me but in the long run I could just never get used to that kind of life, this seems way better".

"Like I said, be careful." Jodi smiled.

* * *

"Hey guys, lunch is served up at the house." A woman appeared with a baby on her arm and a toddler by her other hand.

"Ah, thanks Moira I'm starving." Stevie let go of the sheep she'd just finished shearing and walked out of the shed. "Hey, Chris there's someone here I'd like you to meet." She picked up the little boy, "This is my son Xander" she said smilingly, "Xander say hi to auntie Chris".

The boy turned his eyes to the woman now standing before him and his mother.

"Oh, Stevie he's beautiful and those eyes, he's going to be a real heartbreaker some day."

"Yep, there's a real risk of it, just as long as he doesn't break his mother's heart." It was meant as a joke but Chris could see the hint of fear in Stevie's eyes.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you, how could he when he's got the coolest mum ever? With you teaching him everything you know he'll be set for life."

"I see your friend knows you very well, Stevie, although you might not want to teach him exactly everything you know" Moira joked. "Hello, you must be Chris, I'm Moira and this here is little Gabby who's really longing to see her mum right now."

Jodi took the girl from Moira's arms. "Yeah? Is that right Gabs? You've been missing your mummy?"

"Wow, Jodi, that's another precious one you've got there. I bet you have your hands full around here with those two to liven things up."

"Sure do" Moira added. "Or you try cooking lunch with one baby crying for her mummy and a certain little boy running around trying to climb every chair in the house."

"Sounds like you've had a busy morning then, you're probably more exhausted than we are."

"That might very well be true, but you know I think it's worth it. As much as I thought I was done raising kids I can't help but adore these two."

"I can see why" Chris smiled. "Now did I hear something about lunch?"

* * *

"Hey Moira", Stevie said while finishing off the last pieces of her sandwich, "one of the shearing machines has been acting up a bit, you reckon you could take a look at it?"

"Sure, I'll go back down with you then, let's just get this cleared up first."

The group got the table cleared up and then they walked back down to the shearing shed to continue the days' work. While Moira started working over the shearing machine Stevie and Jodi waited outside with the kids.

"So, Chris seems nice" Jodi stated. "Where you good friends back in your wild days?"

"You seem to suggest that those days are over" Stevie laughed "So changing nappies and reading bedtime stories doesn't count as wild? But yeah, we were really close for a while, had a lot of fun together. Stevie smiled at the memory of some of those good times that now seemed to belong to another lifetime.

"Hey Stevie" Moira called "I think you might need a spare part for this"

"Oh, no that'll slow us down. Well someone's going to have to go into town. Jaz, do you mind?"

"You mean cause I'm the most dispensable?" Jaz didn't really take any offence, she knew that she was the one with the least experience. She just wished they wouldn't remind her of it all the time.

"Ah, come on you know we love you but you seem like the best woman for the task."

It was all just friendly bickering and they all knew it but the conversation had distracted Stevie for a few moments, long enough for a curious little boy to go on a little adventure of his own.

"Wait where's Xander? Jodes do you see him?" Stevie didn't want to start freaking out, after all this wasn't the first time her son had wandered off. But how could she not? Just the thought of something happening to him had given her many sleepless nights already. She knew she would not survive it. As far as she might have managed to get in the process of getting over losing Alex, she knew that another loss, the loss of his son would kill her.

"No, he was just here a second ago, he was holding your hand."

"I know that, I just let go for a moment, he must be here somewhere. Hey guys, is Xander in there with you?"

Moira, Regan and Grace all stepped out of the shed. "What Xander wandered off again?" Grace sighed. "Well he can't have gotten far, I swear that boy will give us all grey hairs before time."

Suddenly the sheep were stirring in the paddock and Chris didn't even have time to think. She saw the little boy trip and before she even knew what she was doing she'd jumped in there and was standing over him to protect him from the nervous sheep who were just inches away from trampling all over him. The others rushed to, now the look on Stevie's face was one of terror, they could all hear the panic in her voice when she called out "XANDER!"

Chris lifted the now crying boy in her arms "Hey there little man, you're all right aren't you? I think he's fine" she said turning to Stevie "a few scrapes from the fall, that's all. And he had a bit of a scare but I don't think any of the sheep got to him." She handed the boy over to his shaken mother. Stevie took her son in her arms and let out a loud sigh, she couldn't help a few tears running down her cheeks.

"Come on Stevie, let's sit down over here and we'll take a closer look at those scrapes." Moira led a pale Stevie over to the benches. "It really doesn't look all that serious but maybe we should get the doctor out here just in case."

"Yeah, yeah, I think we should do that, just to make sure." Stevie tried to calm herself down but she knew she wouldn't be at ease until he'd been properly checked over.

"Let's get up to the house then and I'll call."

It wasn't until they'd walked away that Chris felt how fast her own heart was beating, that had been close, a little closer than she'd like to admit to Stevie. She'd seen the fear in her friends' eyes and she didn't even want to think about how close it had been that instead of protecting the boy she could have scared the sheep to run right over him.

Up at the house Xander was still crying and Stevie couldn't keep from pacing back and forth while Moira was on the phone with the doctor. "Yeah, yeah, he got into the sheep's paddock. We're not sure if he got trampled or not. He seems all right, there are a few scrapes and he's crying. Yeah, that's probably a good sign. But do you reckon you could make the time anyway? Just in case? Yeah, thanks that would be great, we took a good scare out here." She heard Moira speaking in the background, but all she could really pay attention to was the thoughts running through her head:

_No, no, not again, please, please, whoever has a say in these things don't let me go through anything like this again. _She remembered the hours she spent sitting by that hospital bed waiting, hoping, wishing that Rose would wake up and be all right, that she wouldn't lose her daughter so soon after getting her back in her life. And she remembered the time at that roadside watching the man of her dreams, the man she had finally married and whose child she was carrying, just disappear from her right there in front of her eyes.

"She'll be right out Stevie" Moira said after finishing the phone call.

* * *

Chris walked up the stairs and knocked gently on the door before she carefully slid it open. "Hey, can I come in?"

Stevie was standing by her son's bed, "sure come on in".

"How is he?" Chris asked.

"Oh, he's fine, sleeping like a baby completely unaware of having scared his mother half to death today. I'm sorry I never got the chance to thank you earlier."

"Ah, don't worry about it, I just acted on instinct really. I'm just glad he's okay."

"Yeah me too, and I'm so glad you were there. When I saw you pick him up my heart just about stopped."

"Speaking of breaking his mother's heart, hey? I guess I see what you meant by that."

"Yeah", Stevie dragged on the word, "I know this is the way it is, little boys like to go on their adventures, they get into trouble and you can't protect them against everything. I know all that, but I just…" She couldn't help the tears that were welling up in her eyes again "I'm sorry, I know I'm being silly, but it's just the thought of it, of losing him too." She looked up at her old friend showing a little bit more vulnerability then she'd like to in those chestnut eyes.

"Hey, hey, come here, it's been a rough day that's all." Chris rapped her arms around Stevie and kissed her cheek still wet from the tears. Stevie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she was still sobbing but the warm embrace and the soothing hands stroking her back soon calmed her down. The fear wouldn't go away that easily but at least for now she felt like she'd be able to go to sleep tonight.

**Chapter 2**

The barbecue was set up outside the house and Moira was turning some steaks on the grill. Chris had sat down on the bench outside the house and she was watching the group of people around her, she'd really grown to like these women that she'd spent the last few days working alongside. She had worked on many farms in her time, short time mainly, and had had plenty of good experiences and some not so great, she'd met plenty of nice people but there was something special about this group. It hadn't taken her long to realize that Jodi's warning about the attraction of this place didn't only relate to the breathtaking landscape. The dynamic of the relationships between these women was a huge part of what made Drover's such a special place. It was a dream situation really, a farm entirely run by strong self sufficient women who not only were more than able to fend for themselves but who had also formed their own little family out here. McLeods and non-McLeods they were all really close and looked out for each other in an admirable way. She thought about her old friend and how glad she was that she'd gotten this chance to reconnect with her. Stevie had gone through a lot of bad things in her life, she'd worried about her even back on the rodeo, but now it seemed like she'd found a home for herself. She was glad to know that in spite of everything she'd had to go through at least she was surrounded by people who loved her, for a moment a sad look crossed her face at that last thought.

"You look like you could use another beer" Stevie handed her a new bottle and interrupted her line of thought.

"Sure, cheers mate", Chris smiled at the redhead standing in front of her.

"You looked like you were miles away"

"Oh, I was just thinking it really is beautiful out here, I can see why you like it."

"Yeah, I forget sometimes, but it really is amazing. Actually I was thinking, how much in hurry are you to get up north? It would be great to have you around for a while longer. We still haven't really had a chance to do much catching up."

An array of thoughts went through Chris' head at that moment, staying on for a bit would be great but was it really a good idea? She could think of several reasons why it wasn't, but still… "Well, I'm sure they can spare my presence up there for a few more days."

"Awesome, because actually I'm going to go look at some horses tomorrow and I could use an extra pair of expert eyes."

"Horse shopping" Chris face lightened up "…now that's the only kind of shopping I like, you know."

"Ha, I remember, well that's a date then" Stevie smiled at the excitement the suggestion had caused in her friend, their love for horses was just one of the things that had brought them together back in the day. "But, now I'm ready for some steak" she smiled as she offered her friend a hand to pull her up from the bench.

* * *

"So what is it you're looking for then?" Chris asked as they got in the car next day.

"A working horse really, Banjo is about ready for retirement and I need a new one to replace him. But you know I like them with some spunk, so basically a sane trainable horse that isn't completely lacking of free will."

"In other words we're looking for a horse who'll obey you eventually but not before putting your skills as a horsewoman to the test" Chris smiled at the memory of some of the horses that had helped Stevie to develop those skills, she'd always had a tendency to fall for the most impossible cases.

"Ha, exactly, you do know me."

"Well, I seem to remember a few of those kinds of horses passing through our common history. Not always with a brilliant result, if my memory serves me right."

"Ah, if there's no struggle it's not worth the bother."

"Well, I do have to agree with you on that one" Chris added as they pulled up to the first farm.

A rough looking man came up to them as they stepped out of the car. "Hey there Ted, I hear you might have a horse for me" Stevie stated as she shook the man's hand.

"Sure do Stevie and a real good one too. Come over to the paddock and we'll take a look.

The gelding standing in the paddock did look nice Chris thought, all brown, well muscled and with a serene expression in his eyes. But she knew from the moment Stevie mounted the horse that she would never go for him. She rode him round the paddock a few times and had no trouble getting him to obey her commands, "it's a good horse you've got here, no doubt about that" she said as she rode up next to Ted "but I'm not sure yet, I have a few more horses to see today and then I'll get back to you."

"All right but if I don't hear from you by the end of the day, I'm not sure I can hold him for you" the man said grudgingly.

"That's fine, I'll be in touch" Stevie said as she sat back down in front of the wheel.

"To boring, huh?" Chris asked as they drove back onto the main road.

"Yeah, I mean he's a great horse perfectly trained, he would be perfect for someone like Regan. In fact I might have her come out here to check him out. But that spunk we were talking about, he doesn't have it."

"No, I know, too well behaved for you" Chris added the last part in a teasing tone; her friend did have a thing for bad boys both the human and the equine kind.

* * *

Next they pulled up to a small farm house and had hardly gotten out of the car when a black stallion came racing past them, just inches away from trampling Chris. "Whoa, that isn't the horse we're here to look at by any chance?" Chris said with a slight worry in her voice.

"It might just be, but I think we need to start by letting them know that they have a horse on the run" Stevie said trying not to let on that she had actually liked what she'd seen. They knocked on the door "Hey mate, I think one of your horses might be on the loose" she said to the woman who opened the door.

"Oh no, it wouldn't be a beautiful black horse by any chance?"

"Looked like it, yeah" Stevie answered "that wouldn't be the same horse you're trying to sell would it?"

"Oh, you must be Stevie Hall, yes that's the one. Talk about making a bad first impression." The woman sighed.

"Oh, I'd give him a second chance if I could actually meet him."

Chris looked over at her friend, of course she'd liked that, talk about spunk. She sighed "do you need a hand finding him?" she turned to the woman in the doorway.

"That would be great actually, he doesn't usually go far, the next farm up has a mare in heat so that's where we can usually find him trying to break into their stable."

"We'll take the ute then" Stevie said and Chris jumped into the passengers' seat.

"Stevie, you're not thinking about buying this horse, are you?" she said.

"Well, I don't know I've hardly seen him yet."

"No, but I saw the look in your eyes, you liked what you saw."

"And you didn't"

"Well, as you might remember I was a bit closer to him than you were and I didn't like the look in his eyes, there was something crazy about it. We'd have to take a closer look of course, if we can find him that is, but remember there's spunk and a challenge and there's insanity and danger, you do have children at the farm."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right of course, that's what I get for bringing along your expert eyes I guess. Now, let's just find the damn horse and then we'll see about his possible potential."

Just as his owner had said they found the stallion pacing outside the stable on the neighboring farm. The crazy look in his eyes was definitely still there but they had enough skill and experience between them to manage to rope in him and keep him relatively calm until his owner showed up with the horse trailer.

"I take it you've seen enough to not want to buy him" she sighed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry" Stevie said with some regret in her voice "I like him, I really do, but for a working horse it would just take too much work to get him ready for the job, if it would ever be possible to get him calm enough."

As they got in the car to drive off Chris said; "If I hadn't been here you would have bought him, wouldn't you?" it was more a statement than a question really.

* * *

"Third's a charm, hey?" Stevie said as they drove up to the last farm of the day.

This time they were greeted by a young woman "you're here about the mare I suppose" she said.

"Ah, yes, I'm Stevie and this is my friend Chris"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Sarah" she said as she shook their hands. "Come round here and I'll introduce you to Xena"

"Xena, huh? Did you name her?" Stevie smiled.

"Yeah, I did. It seemed right for her."

"Does she have the spirit of a Warrior Princess then?" Chris asked.

"I think so", the young woman blushed a little, "she's a little feisty but she has a good heart".

"Now, I like the sound of that. What do you reckon Chris?" She said as they walked up to the mare. She was dark, almost black but not quite and had a slightly asymmetric star on her forehead. The eyes showed curiosity.

"She's pretty to look at that's for sure".

"I'll go get the saddle and then you can try her out" Sarah added and walked away towards the stables. Chris followed the girl with her eyes "she seems very fond of this horse, you reckon that's a good sign?"

"I think it is, and for good reason too. This mare is a real beauty."

As the girl came back and saddled up the horse it became clear that a certain touch was needed to handle her. Stevie walked up to the mare that was now dancing around on the spot "wow, easy there girl" she said in a soothing voice "I know you're not all that eager to have some stranger on your back, but I think we could get along just fine if you just gave me a chance, I just want to see what you can do first". As little meaning as the words had to the horse the tone of the woman's voice had calmed her down enough to allow Stevie to mount. But as she sat down in the saddle the weight on her back unsettled the mare again. "A little feisty, hey?" Stevie smiled as she went back to trying to calm the horse down. It didn't take her too long to get the horse to follow her commands "she's got a lot of potential this one, what's the expert opinion?" she turned to Chris.

"She is a beautiful horse and I do believe that you could do a lot of her, but are you sure you want to go with a mare? They do tend to cause more drama, have more of a mind of their own. You might end up with a lot of trouble on your hands."

"Oh, I think I can handle it. Listen Sarah, I'd like to have our vet look her over but if everything checks out I'll want her for sure."

* * *

"I think someone's in love" Chris teased as they started their drive back home.

"Oh, maybe just a little bit. I think she's a great horse, don't you?"

"I do, I'm glad we found the perfect match."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far just yet, don't want to get my hopes up too much, but it's nice to have something to look forward to. You know as nice as it is out here it gets a bit gloomy sometimes, there are a lot of hard times to get through too."

"Yeah, I can imagine, I'm really sorry you've had to go through so much in the last few years."

"Yeah, me too, but you know what I wouldn't trade all the hurt I had to go through if it meant not having had the chance to live through the joy that came before it. That's what I've realized and what's helped me move on, as meaningless as losing it all might seem and as much as it still hurts and still makes me so afraid sometimes at least I got that chance to be with the man of my dreams and I have his beautiful son still with me."

"Wow that's such a beautiful way to look upon it" Chris looked at her friend almost in wonder "you've really come a long way since we were kids".

"Ha, well I guess I've had to grow up over the years. It doesn't mean I don't still cry sometimes or that I don't still panic at the thought of something happening to Xander, but it's a coping strategy and it's been working. Anyway, speaking of times past, you still haven't told me much about what you've been up to. You said you were living in the city for a while? No, Mr. Right in your life?"

It was clear to Chris that Stevie wanted to move on from the subject and she had no problem understanding why, especially now that her friend's questions would make it hard for her to avoid thinking about her own wounds.

"No, no Mr. Right that's for sure" Chris paused "there was a Ms. Right though or so I thought." She tried to make the words sound as casual as possible in spite of the feelings welling up in her as she spoke them. It had been a while and, even though her experiences could probably not compare to what Stevie had gone through, her scars were still sore.

Stevie detected the hint of hurt, or was it fear, in her friend's voice and she wanted to make her reply reassuring in spite of her surprise at Chris's declaration. "Oh, really, a chick huh? So what happened?"

Although Chris had never really doubted her old friend's acceptance, actually hearing it in her voice still brought a feeling of relief. It didn't take away the pain of the memories though and she took a deep breath before she answered "oh, you know, the typical story, I was in love and thought everything was perfect until I came home one day and found her in bed with the yoga-instructor." It did sound like the typical story, the kind you'd seen a million times in the movies but that didn't mean it had hurt any less, just too many dreams that had been broken.

"I'm sorry Chris, had you been together a long time?"

"Three years, it was just you know… I know these things happen, not all relationships last forever… but she was everything to me… and then I find out that instead of telling me she wasn't happy she goes and sleeps with someone else… it was really a hard blow."

"Was she your first girlfriend?"

"Kind of, you know I'd dated women before that but she was my first serious girlfriend. The first one who gave me butterflies in the stomach just by looking at her, the first one I told everyone about and for whom I actually walked away from people. My family wasn't all that happy about me being in a relationship with a woman, you know, so I turned my back on them and I never even doubted it because I could not imagine living without her. I guess that's what hurt the most, the fact that I gave up so much without a doubt and to her our relationship wasn't even worth the honesty of telling me what was wrong."

"Wow, I'm really sorry Chris, I can imagine how hard it must have been. I know whatever consolation anyone can offer is not enough to take away the pain when you're in that hurting place. All, I can say is that it will get better, it'll have to take the time it takes but eventually you will be able to feel those butterflies again."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right…" Chris said trying not to let on that the radiant smile directed at her was already causing some cocoons to burst. "…it has gotten better, and now I don't think about her every day but thinking and talking about it still hurts" she added with a sad smile as they pulled up at the yard back home at Drover's.

**Chapter 3**

It was early morning on Drover's and the kitchen was already full of life, everyone trying to get some breakfast in them before starting the day.

"So she's gay, huh?" Jodi asked "who would've thought".

"Well, why not really? I never really thought about it but I guess it makes sense now that I think about it." Stevie said.

"She ever, you know, show an interest in you or anything?" Regan added curiously.

"Nah, no, not that I can remember anyway" Stevie stopped to think about it for a minute, it felt like she had some vague memory of something, like maybe she was missing something but she didn't really know what. "Nah" she concluded. "But guys it sounds like she's had a bit of a hard time of it so be nice to her, please".

"Yeah 'course, we're cool, just because we're a small community it doesn't mean we can't be open minded and tolerant" Jodi added.

"Hm, I seem to remember you saying something like that before darling, of course you weren't really right that time" Matt smiled at his wife.

"Yeah, yeah, you can't always get it right, but I was very supportive back then too if you remember, no worries Stevie" she added as Chris walked in to the kitchen.

"Morning"

"Morning, look who finally managed to crawl out of bed" Stevie smiled at her friend. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, fine, although you know how I feel about early mornings, no need to tease me about it."

"Maybe not, but where would be the fun in that" Stevie jokingly gave her friend a push.

"Hey, Chris, you reckon you could help me out with some fences today?" Regan interrupted the two friends.

"Sure, I guess I have to earn this breakfast somehow" Chris smiled in response as she sat down at the table with a nice full plate in front of her.

* * *

A while later Chris was ready to make good on her promise as she and Regan arrived at a fence that was down.

"I guess we just found some work for ourselves" she said turning Regan.

"Guess so, it never really ends around here you know." Regan answered getting the wire and tools of the ute.

"Yeah, I can imagine. That's farm work for you…but it must be great living out here though…and having all your sisters here too, that must be nice."

"Ha" Regan couldn't help laughing a bit. "No, don't get me wrong, it is good having family around you. And it's not just my sisters, we're all a family on Drovers. But it's not always pain free, you know, we've had plenty of issues. What about you, do you have any siblings?"

"I have a younger brother, but I don't really see him much" Chris looked at the ground "my family is a bit complicated."

"Oh, I see, I'm sorry…why can't things just be easy and uncomplicated, ey?"

Chris raised her eyebrows "yeah, tell me about it" she sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile at the house the phone rang.

"Hello" Stevie answered in the office. "Hey, Ingrid! What's up? Oh, really, that's great news" a smile lit up her face. "Yeah, tell her I'll be there in a couple of hours to pick her up… yeah, great, thanks for letting me know. See you soon."

"Hey, Moira" Stevie walked into the kitchen "Ingrid called, Xena checked out just fine so I'll go over there to pick her up. Are you all right with the kids?"

"Yeah, fine, you go pick up your new love." Moira smiled, glad to see the childish joy in Stevie's eyes.

"See you later then"

"See ya"

* * *

Stevie was about halfway on her drive back to Drover's when she heard the noises coming from the trailer behind her. _Now what_ she thought. It had taken some work getting Xena into the trailer and it was clear to her by now that the mare intended to live up to her warrior name. She decided it was best to pull over to check on the mare before she got herself hurt. She heard the kicking continue as she walked round the back of the trailer "easy now girl, you won't have to be in there much longer, let's just get home and I'll show you to a nice paddock" she kept talking to the horse trying to calm her down.

But just as she stretched out her arm to check on the back of the trailer it came it came falling down and hit her arm hard enough to knock her down. Before she had been able to recover from the blow the mare came racing out and before she was back on her feet Xena had left her and the trailer far behind. "Damn" Stevie swore to herself "how did she even do that?"

She felt the pain piercing from her shoulder and all through her right arm, wiggling her finger and her hand slowly she determined that it wasn't broken but she realized she wouldn't be able to catch any horses on her own with that arm. She went back to the car to pick up the sat phone.

"Hey, Moira? It's Stevie, I've had some trouble here…no I'm fine but I could use some help, could you have the girls come out here and help me chase Xena down…yeah, she got out, don't ask me how…yeah, yeah, thanks"

* * *

Chris spotted the ute and encouraged her horse to move faster.

"About time you got here" Stevie said as she opened the car door awkwardly with her left hand "you wouldn't have happened to see a lose horse on your way over here, would you?"

"No, sorry, no sign of her yet. Are you all right?" Chris added when she saw the pained expression as her friend tried to move her arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just took a little blow to the arm. It's nothing really." Stevie said as the others caught up. "Let's just organize this search, I didn't buy this pretty horse just to have her go run off with the brumbies."

"Are you sure?" Chris got off her horse and came over to her friend "let me take a look at it" she said and put a gentle hand on Stevie's shoulder.

Stevie winced "I'm just sore, it's not broken or anything"

"Nah, but it's a bit banged up, you need to get to a doctor"

"No really, I'm fine and we have a horse to find."

"Don't be stupid Stevie" Regan added as she dismounted Oscar "you won't be any use to a search party anyway while you're in pain. I'll take you to the doctor."

"No, I'll go myself, you help with the searching and I'll take myself to get checked out."

"You can't drive with that arm, now stop being stubborn and go with Regan, the rest of us will find Xena. I promise" Chris said as she stroked Stevie's good arm reassuringly.

"All right" Grace said "let's split up, Jaz you come with me and Jodi you go with Chris."

"Good, let's go then" Jodi said as she urged Tucker forward, with Chris tight at her heels.

"So, what chance do you think we have of actually finding a horse in this endless space?" Chris let her eyes scan over the landscape as she asked the question, the hills seemed to go on forever; vast fields of what was at the moment mainly dry grass, some greener spots over by a river and a gathering of trees in the east. It really was a breathtaking landscape; the sun was high in the sky and dust was torn up under their horses' hooves but there was no sight of the feisty mare.

"Hopefully we'll find her eventually but it might take us some time" Jodi sighed. "There's a lot of space to cover and she could be pretty much anywhere, my best bet would be somewhere along the river though".

* * *

Drops of sweat were shining on Chris's forehead and, as used as she was to long days of hard work and spending many hours on horseback, she was starting to feel utterly exhausted. They'd been searching for hours but so far Xena was nowhere in sight.

"Look" Jodi said "we're both getting tired and we won't have enough light for that much longer, maybe we should start thinking about turning back and start up the search again tomorrow".

"Yeah, you're probably…" Chris broke herself of mid sentence "…look over there" she pointed over to a big tree by which a dark coated horse was idly grazing.

"Completely oblivious, ey?" Jodi sighed "well let's do this" she said as they both got off their horses and slowly walked up to the mare.

Chris took the rope that she'd had tied to the saddle of her horse and eased closer to the mare while she spoke to her in a soft voice "easy girl…I'm not going to hurt you…I just want to get a little closer…and a little closer…don't you worry about making us ride around looking for you all day…but now we'd all like to go home and get some rest if that's okay with you" she continued soothing the mare with her voice as she finally managed to slip the rope around her neck "there you go, that's much better" she smiled. "Now, let's get home" she said turning to Jodi.

* * *

Chris was standing by the paddock looking out over the Drover's sunset and at the horse she'd been chasing after all day.

"She's a beauty isn't she?"

Chris turned around and looked at her friend who came walking up to her with her arm in a sling. "She sure is" she smiled, looking in to those chestnut eyes she wasn't sure whether she was talking about the horse or the woman standing in front of her. "She's a troublemaker though, that's for sure."

"So are you up for the challenge?" Stevie asked.

"Me? You're the one who wanted the feisty mare with the good heart"

"Yeah, I know, and I still do. But I won't be able to do any work in a few days and I would really appreciate the help" Stevie emphasized the last part by tilting her head and adding a charmingly pleading smile "please?" As she said it she realized how much she had enjoyed having her old friend around and that she really wanted her to stay for a while longer.

"Hm…" Chris knew that there was nothing she wanted more than to stay at Drover's but she also knew that there were plenty of reasons for her not to, the fact that she was very likely setting herself up for heartbreak being the foremost of them. "…how is your arm anyway" she said to postpone having to answer the question.

"Oh, it's fine, no major damage… but like I said I could use some help for a few days. So will you stay?"

"Well, when you put it that way…I guess I could stay for a few more days."

"Great, now how about a beer to celebrate your very vise decision?"

Chris smiled "well you know I won't say no to that".

* * *

"So anyway, is it okay if I ask?" Stevie said as she took a couple of beers out of the fridge. "Have you always known you were gay? I mean even back in the rodeo days?"

"Well, I guess on some level I always knew" Chris answered thoughtfully "but it took me some time to put two and two together. Actually…you probably don't even remember this…but there was that one night that we'd had a few too many beers…and we shared a little innocent kiss."

"Really? You and me?" Stevie sounded genuinely surprised. "No offence to your kissing skills but I don't actually remember that."

"No, I'm sure my skills were not all that impressive and maybe it was more than a few too many. But, anyway, for me it was one of those moments that really made me start to think about things" She tried to make it sound as casual as possible, not wanting to let on just how thought-provoking that moment had been and for how long it had stayed with her. "But it still took me a good while of evidence mounting up in my mind before I really realized what it was I was feeling. And even longer before I could accept it, not to mention say it out loud."

"Wow, well I'm glad I could be of assistance then" Stevie smiled "here's to finding yourself" she added as she lifted her beer bottle into the air "cheers".

"Cheers" Chris smiled back at the woman sitting next to her _and to finding a way back to old friends _she thought to herself. Maybe it was a good thing that she was staying on a bit longer after all.

**Chapter 4**

_Sun is setting over Drover's as Stevie sees the figure standing by the paddock and she starts walking towards her. As she gets closer the woman turns and she recognizes her old friend. "I've been waiting for you" Chris says and her smile, a smile that is reflected even in her radiant blue eyes, hypnotizes Stevie. All she knows is that she wants to be close to this woman. When Chris stretches out her hand she takes it and takes the last few steps to close the space between them. As Chris looks into her eyes she knows with all her body that all she wants to do is kiss her. Their lips meet and the explosion of sensations that shakes her all the way to the core is unlike anything she's ever felt before._

Stevie opened her eyes slowly not really wanting to let go of the warm and fuzzy feeling that she couldn't really define. She felt better than she had in a long time but it took her a while to remember what had caused the feeling, when she did her feelings became a bit more uneasy. _That dream, Chris had been in it, her friend Chris, what was that about?_ _Probably nothing right? _She thought trying to shake the feeling. It was probably just because of what Chris had told her last night, she couldn't really believe that she had completely forgotten about that kiss. Maybe that's all it was, her subconscious trying to dig up old memories. "Yeah, that's probably it" she said to herself as she got out of bed.

* * *

"Morning" Chris walked into the kitchen.

"Morning" Stevie answered. As she turned and looked into her friend's blue eyes she could feel her heart jump.

"You sleep all right?" Chris inquired.

"Yeah, fine…good" Stevie turned back to focus on her son not wanting to let on the turmoil of emotions going through her at that moment.

"So, I was thinking I'd start working with Xena this morning, if that's all right with you" Chris continued.

"Yeah, sounds fine"

"You gonna come down and give me some of that expert advice?"

"Nah, you go ahead, I'm sure you know what you're doing" Stevie was still refusing to look at her friend, too scared of what might show on her face if she did.

"Yeah, of course I do" Chris laughed "but she's your horse, I just thought you might want to see how she was doing".

"Well, I'm busy right now, all right?" It had come out sounding a bit harsher than she had meant it to and Chris just gave her a puzzled look.

"Okay, I'll just get started then, shall I?" Chris said as she walked out of the kitchen wondering what the hell was going on with her friend.

"Yeah, fine" Stevie didn't turn around until she heard the footsteps trail off. What was wrong with her, she thought, she felt like a mess and now she had been short with Chris for no good reason, all because of a silly dream. She decided she just needed to get on with her day and she would have probably forgotten all about this by lunchtime.

* * *

Down at the paddock Chris's thoughts went a long the same lines. _What was up with Stevie? Why had she been so short with her? Or had she? Maybe she was just imagining things. It couldn't be because she told her about the kiss, could it? She had thought that Stevie could handle it, after all she had made it sound very innocent. Or had Stevie been able to read more out of what she'd said? She hadn't wanted to freak her friend out and she hadn't wanted to put herself in a much too vulnerable situation, which was the reason she hadn't told Stevie the full story. She hadn't told her about the hopeless crush that she had held on to for way too long, the feelings she'd had even before she could understand them herself. But had Stevie figured it out anyway? And now she was acting weird because she was afraid that maybe Chris thought something could happen between them. _"Nah" she said to the horse as she put the saddle on her back "now, I'm probably putting way too much into it. Maybe she was tired, or maybe her arm was bothering her or maybe she's just busy like she said. I need to get out of my head and focus on what I'm doing, don't you think?" With that she swung her leg over the horses back and carefully sat down in the saddle. "Now let's see if we can get you to do some work, ey Xena."

* * *

Stevie was trying to keep herself busy with some paperwork while watching Xander play next to her. The invoices didn't manage to keep her attention for long but her son did on and off work as a pretty good distraction. He couldn't completely keep the flashes from last night's dream from popping up in her head though; she saw the paddock in the late afternoon light and she saw those blue eyes smiling at her but more than anything it was the feeling that kept coming back to her. It was a feeling of warmth and love and…excitement? And it completely overwhelmed her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the office door. A blonde head popped in the door.

"Hey Stevie, Moira said to tell you that lunch is ready" Chris smiled at her.

"All right thanks, but I just want to finish this. You go ahead and I'll get something in a while" she just felt that she needed a while to gather her thoughts and she wasn't sure she'd be able to sit opposite Chris at the table without letting on what was going on in her head.

"Right, but don't forget to eat, okay" Chris said with a slight worry in her voice.

"Hey Chris" Jaz said as Chris walked back into the kitchen "do you mind coming with me over to Killarney after lunch to pick up some things we need to borrow from them?"

"No, of course not" _it'll be good to get away from the farm for a while_ she thought to herself _a chance to think about something else._

* * *

A while later Jaz pulled up the Drover's truck at Killarney "hey Tim" she said to the young man working in the yards "is Ben around?"

"So this is just a social call then" the man smiled at her teasingly.

"No, if you could help Chris get the machine on the truck that would be great" she tilted her head and smiled back at him.

"Anything for a pretty lady" he said now focusing his attention on the blonde woman standing next to the truck "I don't believe we've met" he extended his hand to her "I'm Tim".

Chris took his hand "Hey, I'm Chris, nice to meet you"

"You too. This way then" he said with, what was probably meant as, a chivalrous gesture. "So Chris, what brings you to this part of the world?"

"I'm just visiting…mostly…and helping out a little, Stevie's an old friend of mine"

"I see, so are you having a good time at Drover's?"

"Yeah, a great time, the view is breathtaking out here"

"It sure is" he winked at her. He looked over at Jaz and Ben who were saying a tender goodbye to each other. "So do you have a fella' waiting for you somewhere?" he asked.

"No" Chris said simply, not wanting to get into any more detailed discussion with this guy she opted for acting like she had no idea where he was going with this conversation. "Jaz, I'm ready if you are" she called towards the happy couple.

* * *

As the car drove off Tim walked up to where Ben was standing. "She's nice looking that one, isn't she? I reckon I've got a chance there."

"You mean Chris?" Ben looked over at the young man who was Killarney's new farmhand.

"Well, yeah. I mean you're girlfriend is pretty too, but I wouldn't do that to a mate."

"Well, I think you can give up on Chris too" Ben smiled "you're not really her type".

"How would you know?" Tim answered the other man with some offence in his voice. "I was just talking to her and I got a good vibe from her, I think she likes me."

"Trust me mate, I know, she won't go out with you."

"Ah, you're just too snowed in on your own relationship to notice what's going on around you. I'm asking her out."

"Whatever mate, if you reckon you've got a chance, go ahead. I'm willing to bet she'll turn you down."

"Yeah, how much?" he looked defiantly on the older man.

Ben just rolled his eyes "this is stupid, but sure if you get her to go out with you I'll…pay for beer for a week".

"Two weeks and you're on" he stretched out his hand to Ben.

The other man took it "fine, I'll be looking forward to all that free beer". Ben wondered if he was being unethical by not disclosing the fact that he knew that Chris was gay. Nah, he determined the young man was way too cocky and could use to be taught a lesson, besides who would say no to free beer?

* * *

Back at Drover's Stevie had taken the opportunity when Chris was away to go check on her new horse. She looked at the beautiful mare "hey girl, how's it going? Did you have a good morning with Chris? She stroked the horse's neck "she's good at what she does, ey? Yeah, I know she is. She's good with horses, she's good with people too actually, a good person, sweet and kind, smart, beautiful…and she's my mate. I've known her forever and all of the sudden she tells me this one little thing that happened years ago and that I don't even remember and now I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down. Or maybe I'm just going crazy, what do you reckon Xena? The horse just looked at the woman. "Yeah I know, I probably am. You know, maybe it's just because it's been fun catching up with an old friend and because she really is very nice to have around. It doesn't have to mean anything. No of course it doesn't. You know what? I'm just going to get myself together now and go see if there's some food up at the house, I never did get that lunch." The mare had been patiently listening to the long monologue but now she turned away to nibble on some hay.

* * *

The dinner table at Drover's was crowded that night, everyone had decided to have dinner together; that included Ben, Matt and Phil as well as the Drover's girls and Chris.

"So Chris, it seems like you have a new admirer" Ben smiled at his cousin's friend.

The statement made Stevie's heart skip a beat and caused a puzzled look from Chris "I do?" she inquired.

"Yep, Tim reckons he's got a good chance with you" Ben smiled "a good vibe, I believe were his exact words".

"Oh, great just what I need" Chris sighed "some guy coming after me".

"I'll set him straight if you want" Ben said "no pun intended".

"Nah, don't worry about it. I've had the 'sorry mate, I don't date men' conversation with plenty of guys already, I can handle it. Thanks anyway".

* * *

After dinner Stevie sat down out on the porch enjoying the fresh evening air. Dinner hadn't been too awkward and she felt a bit calmer now.

"Hey" Chris came out of the house "are you all right? You've been kind of quiet today."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it, it's nothing." Stevie smiled at her friend.

"Are you sure?" Chris sat down next her "your arm is not still bothering you, is it?"

"Nah, it's fine, really" Stevie moved her arm a little "I can probably take the sling of tomorrow."

"Yeah? You won't mind a little friendly box then?" She raised her hand and moved it towards Stevie's shoulder. Stevie flinched a little. "Hm, so not completely healed then?" She moved and put her hand over Stevie's hand instead. "Listen, don't stress yourself out. It'll get better soon enough and until then you've got plenty of help here."

"Yeah, I know. I just get restless and really it hardly hurts at all." To be honest any possible pain in her arm was the last thing on Stevie's mind at that moment. She was mainly trying to avoid thinking about the speeding of her pulse and the warmth that was spreading all through her body from the hand that was still covered by the gentle touch of her friend.

"Well, if you're sure you're fine I think I'll head of to bed now." Chris realized that if there was something else going on with her friend she wouldn't be able to find it out tonight. And, other than the fact that she actually was very tired, she was also finding the closeness to her friend a bit too much to bear.

"All right, good night then, see you tomorrow."

"Good night" Chris walked away taking a deep breath to try to calm down her heartbeat.

**Chapter 5**

Stevie slowly opened her eyes to a new hot and sunny day at Drover's. She'd had another dream; this time she had been back at the rodeo: _she saw herself sitting there with a bottle of beer in her hand and she could sense that feeling of being young and, if not careless then at least less heavily charged with the weight of responsibility. Her friend was sitting next to her; a few strands of her long blonde hair having come loose from her ponytail and her blue eyes shining with mischief. She could even see the moment that the look in her friend's eyes changed. What was at first a teasing smile deepened into something else, the smile was tentative, shy almost but there was desire in her eyes. Again her focus was on her friend's lips and suddenly she could remember very clearly the feeling when their lips met; the feeling of very soft lips against her own, a tongue gently exploring her mouth and an explosion of emotions when she realized how much she liked this._

"God" Stevie said to herself "not again". She looked over at the picture of Alex on her nightstand. She couldn't really have those kinds of feelings for Chris, could she? She remembered that kiss now but she hadn't thought anything of it at the time, actually she had never even considered the possibility of being with another woman. And yet for the last couple of days that was all she'd been able to think about. "Well, I'll just have to put in out of my mind then" she said to herself as she determined that if she got up now she'd probably be able to have finished both her and Xander's breakfast before Chris even woke up, and that way she could get an early start on work to keep her mind busy and avoid seeing Chris at the same time.

* * *

A little later that morning Chris found an empty kitchen thinking that was probably for the best. She finished her breakfast quickly, hoping that she would avoid running in to anyone, and then went off to get some work done with Xena. Her isolation did not last long however and of all the people who could have been close this was not someone she particularly wanted to encounter this morning.

"That's a nice looking horse you've got there" Tim said as he walked up to the paddock.

"Yeah, she is" Chris answered, she's not mine though. I'm just helping Stevie out with her training."

"So maybe you're planning on staying around for a while?" There was a tone of hope in the man's voice.

"Oh, I don't know it kind of depends on how long Stevie will need me."

"Or maybe you'll find another reason to stay" Tim suggested.

"We'll see" Chris added in a dry voice.

"Well, I was thinking, maybe I could buy you a drink some night" Tim smiled feeling pretty confident about himself.

"Nah, thanks mate but I'm not interested." Chris knew very well were this was going.

"Oh, come on, it's just a drink and then we'll see what else it might lead up to" he winked at Chris.

"Well, it's very nice of you but I don't date men."

"What do you mean?" Tim was looking slightly puzzled.

"I mean I'm a lesbian and I'm not interested in going out with men." Chris was not enjoying this conversation but it was not the first time she had to go through something like this.

"You are? Well that's okay. I'm sure I can change your mind. You just haven't met the right guy yet, obviously an attractive woman like you needs someone who knows how to take care of you and show you a good time. I can do that."

"No you can't, it doesn't work that way." Chris was getting really annoyed at this point "I'm a lesbian, that means I'm not interested nor will I ever be interested in you so please take a clue and let it go."

"All right, all right I'll back off for now but if you change your mind you know where I am." Tim physically backed off as he spoke the last words but he hadn't completely wiped the smile off his face just yet.

"Jerk" Chris gave the fence next to her a good kick. Maybe she had been a bit harsher than she wanted to but the whole 'you just haven't found the right man but one night with me will change your mind' routine was getting very tired at this point. For some reasons a lot of guys had a problem with respecting the fact that you were immune to their charms and having to give the same explanation over and over again really got to her sometimes. Unfortunately in her agitation she forgot about the horse that was right next to her and Xena had been spooked by the aggressive behavior of the woman. She took a jump towards the gate and managed to break through the fence, before Chris had even really realized what had happened all she could see was the tail of the mare disappearing over the hills.

"Crap" Chris swore to herself "this day just keeps getting worse". Now she would have to tell Stevie that she had managed to let her new horse make another escape, not to mention that they'd have to go on another search for the mare.

* * *

Chris arrived back up at the house just as Stevie came back from a supply run.

"Hey" Stevie smiled at her friend trying to keep her voice as casual as possible despite the fact that her heart jumped the moment she saw her. "You've been working with Xena?" she inquired.

"Yeah, about that" Chris looked to the ground "she broke out of the paddock".

"What do you mean?" Stevie said, suddenly distracted from her emotional turmoil.

"She got spooked and somehow she managed to get out. I guess it's time for a new search party, do you know where the others are?"

"They're out mustering, so I guess it's just you and me" both of them were slightly startled by that statement.

"But are you all right to ride?" Chris looked at her friend noticing for the first time that she wasn't wearing the sling around her arm today.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Let's go find this break-out princess of mine." The truth was that Stevie wasn't entirely sure about the strength of her arm but right now her priority was finding her horse and she wasn't going to whine about a little pain.

They both saddled up quickly and rode off side by side.

* * *

"So, how did this happen anyway?" Stevie turned to her friend.

"I'm not quite sure but it might have been my fault. I got into a bit of an argument with Tim and he managed to piss me off enough to maybe act out a bit." Chris looked at Stevie apologetically.

"Really, what happened? Stevie was a bit surprised, given that Chris had always been way calmer than her in most situations.

"Oh, it was nothing really. He just gave me the 'one night with me will turn you off this ridiculous women-loving idea' speech and I've just heard it one too many times. I'm sorry Stevie I didn't mean to spook her. I just wasn't thinking."

"Ah, don't worry about it, she's seems to be very good at this escape routine." Stevie smiled at her friend who felt a bit reassured by the encouragement.

They rode on for a while in silence, which gave Chris a chance to keep admiring the landscape around her. A few days here and she had no problem understanding why it was so hard for people to leave Drover's.

"Well, at least your horse's proneness to escaping is giving me a chance to see some more of your beautiful landscape" she smiled turning to her friend, only to see a stern look on Stevie's face. "Hey, are you all right?" she asked with some worry in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Stevie answered but her voice was not very convincing.

"Are you sure? Your arm isn't bothering you, is it?" Chris suspected that her friend was only acting brave when in fact the pain was clearly exposed in her face. "Why don't we take a little break" she suggested.

"Nah, really I'm fine" it was true that Stevie was feeling the pain in her arm but she was convinced that she was too tough to let that show.

"Oh, go on. Let's just sit down over there for a while" Chris pointed towards the shadow underneath a big tree "just for a little while, nothing will get better by you pushing yourself too hard. They might not have seen each other for many years but Chris knew her friend well enough to know when she was just putting on that 'tougher than life' act.

They rode up to the tree and Stevie agreed that just a few minutes couldn't hurt. They dismounted the horses and sat down on the ground under the tree. Chris got out her water bottle and handed it to Stevie. "Here have a drink and let go of that act for a moment".

"What act?" Stevie looked over at her friend still not wanting to admit that the ride had proved to be a bit too much for her.

"Oh, you know, that whole 'I've been taking care of myself since I was 15 and that works best when you never show weakness or let on that you might need someone else's help' act. I'm sure that everything you've been through has made you mature a lot but I still recognize that trait in you."

Stevie couldn't help but smile "you do know me, huh? Well, all right so maybe my arm hurts a little bit" she admitted.

"I know" Chris smiled back at her "but Stevie, admitting you need help is not always a sign of weakness…and…" she put her arm around her friend and moved in a little closer "…you have plenty of people around you who are there for you, including me" Chris gave her friend a reassuring smile.

"I know, thank you!" Stevie tilted her face upward to enable her to look at her friend, and what she found was a pair of brilliant blue eyes smiling at her. At that moment the pain in her arm was long forgotten, she could feel her pulse speeding as she recognized the warm feeling she had felt in her dream and before she knew what she was doing she had leaned in was brushing her lips against Chris'.

Chris gasped at the contact of the two pairs of lips, her heart was beating so hard she could hear the pounding in her ears and she couldn't help but give in to her desire. She allowed the kiss to deepen, gently passing her tongue over Stevie's lips and letting it explore the inside of her mouth. As Stevie responded their tongues indulged in a curious game of mutual exploration. The feeling was so intense that neither of them could really understand what it was that was happening to them. Actually they were both way beyond thinking at this point, they could only give in to the intensity of it all. Stevie let her hand slip up around Chris' neck to allow her to get even closer, wanting to feel all of her as close as possible. Chris had her one hand still around Stevie's back as she moved her other hand to cup her cheek, she could feel the smoothness of the other woman's skin against the palm of her hand and the heat radiating through her was beyond belief. They only broke off once they both needed to restock on oxygen. "Wow, that was…" Stevie started.

"Yeah, I know…" Chris filled in, not really able to put into words what she was feeling at that moment. Her incoherent line of thought was interrupted as she took her eyes off of Stevie for a moment and gazed out over the landscape. "Hey, look over there" she said removing one of the arms that were still around her friend's body and pointing towards the unmistakable form of a horse in the distance.

"Huh? Yeah, that would be right" Stevie said as she detected the recognizable dark coat of her new horse. "I suppose we'd better go after her".

"Yeah, that's probably for the best" Chris agreed as she stood up. She offered her friend a hand to help her get up, the warmth of that touch almost making her lose control of herself again. Stevie took the hand and as she rose their eyes met again and in that moment it was clear that they were both in a similar emotional turmoil from what had just happened.

**Chapter 6**

This time it was Chris that woke up with an uneasy feeling in her gut; what had happened yesterday? She and Stevie had kissed, really kissed, not like that innocent moment they had shared a million years ago and not like any of those figments of her imagination that had been triggered by that moment and that had stayed with her for so long after that. It had been very real and better than she could have ever imagined. But it couldn't possibly be a good idea, could it? They hadn't had a chance to talk about it yesterday; first there had been Xena to deal with, then there was work to be done and then there was Xander and she hadn't seen anymore of Stevie after that. But she could imagine what kind of thoughts were going through her friend's head at the moment. What had she done? It had been clear to her from the moment she had spotted Stevie in that bar that her feelings for her were not completely gone. And after spending a few days with her she knew that staying on was not the best idea, being close to Stevie had brought everything back and still she hadn't been able to resist when Stevie asked her to stay a little longer. She had thought she could keep her feelings under control; after all she wasn't a teenager anymore. And now…this kiss, she couldn't help smiling to herself…it had been amazing, everything she's ever dreamt of and more. But it shouldn't have happened, Stevie was probably completely freaked out right now; they were mates and Stevie was straight, at least as far as she knew. And, a part from the fact that she had probably completely scared Stevie off, Chris wasn't ready for this either. She couldn't get her hopes up, especially not in a situation as hopeless as this one, she was not ready to get her heart broken again. The only way to avoid this getting any worse was to leave now, she decided, she'd apologize to Stevie and tell her that it was time she moved on, that she was really supposed to be up north already. "Yeah, it's for the best" she told herself as she got out her bag and started getting the things that were scattered all over the room together.

* * *

Chris was just about to zip up her bag when there was a knock on the door of the shearer's quarters. "Hey, can I come in?" Stevie carefully opened the door. Her heart almost stopped when she saw what her friend was doing. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking it's time for me to move on" she refused to look at her friend. "Your arm is better now right?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Right, so you don't really need me here anymore, and I'm a bit behind schedule to get up north anyway so it's probably for the best." She couldn't bring herself to mention the kiss, she didn't trust her voice to hold if she did.

The expression on Stevie's face was a mixture of confusion and hurt "okay, I understand" she said when in fact she didn't understand and all. "Well, I'd better let you get on with it then, will you come to the house to say goodbye before you leave?" she turned and walked out the door before Chris could see the pain reflected in her face.

Stevie's easy acceptance of Chris' explanation hurt every bit as much as the rash decision had hurt Stevie. It was clear to Chris in that moment that she had made the right decision; Stevie was clearly freaked out and relieved to get rid of her. It was best she left now before she made the situation even worse.

* * *

While these thoughts were going through Chris' head, Stevie was walking back to the house not knowing what to think or feel. She couldn't believe herself; obviously she had scared Chris off. What had gotten into her, throwing herself at her friend like that? It had felt so right at the time, a little smile almost crossed her lips at the thought of the kiss but it was soon subdued by the memory of what had just happened. Chris had made it very clear that she wanted to leave and it was her fault. She walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table not knowing what to do with her feelings.

"Hey Stevie, we could use a hand out here" Regan walked into the kitchen to find Stevie staring into thin air. "Hello, anyone there?" she waved her hand in front of Stevie's face.

"What?" Stevie snapped of her thoughts.

"Hey, what's going on, you look like you were miles away."

"I don't know, I don't know Regan, I think I might be going crazy."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Regan was starting to feel a bit worried about her friend.

"It's Chris, she's leaving."

"She is? Today? That was a bit sudden." Although Regan was a bit surprised by that sudden turn of events she couldn't quite match the news with the torn up look on Stevie's face. And you don't want her to?" she asked hoping for some clarification.

"I don't know…no, I don't" tears were welling up in Stevie's eyes.

"Hey, hey" Regan put a hand on the other woman's arm "let's take this from the beginning, do you want to tell me the full story?"

"I…I don't know…it's just…I haven't been able to stop thinking about her…and yesterday…yesterday we kissed" Stevie was sobbing now.

"You did?" Regan couldn't quite hide a surprised smile. "And now she's leaving?" the connection was starting to dawn on Regan "so what happened?"

"I don't know…I guess I freaked her out, some clueless straight girl throwing herself at her is probably the last thing she needs."

"Or maybe…" Regan suggested "…she's scared that you're having second thoughts, worried that she freaked you out and afraid of having her heart broken."

"Nah" Stevie brushed off the idea "this is Chris, she's strong, confident, always doing her own thing, she wouldn't be intimidated by me."

"Well, a lot of people would describe you the same way." Regan smiled.

"And look at me now, crying in the kitchen" a helpless smile found its way to Stevie's tear drenched face.

"You don't think you should at least talk to her before she leaves?" Regan suggested.

"Yeah, probably…I'm not sure it will help…but I should probably try."

"Well, go on" Regan encouraged her friend while she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

* * *

Stevie found Chris by the paddock saying goodbye to Xena. She stopped for a moment indecisive when she saw the woman standing with her back against her. For a moment she considered turning back to the house, she had no idea what to say, but she knew she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try.

Chris heard the steps of someone approaching and she hurried to dry the tears from her eyes.

"Hey…" Stevie said tentatively "…can we talk?"

"Sure" there was doubt in Chris' voice and she wasn't quite ready to turn around and look at her friend.

"Why did you decide to leave so suddenly?" Stevie moved up in order to stand next to Chris by the fence but still without looking her in the eyes.

"Well, like I said…it's probably time…you've got plenty of help here and my plan was always to go up north."

"So, it's not because of me?" Stevie was scared to hear the answer but she had to ask

"Because of you? No, of course not. Why would it be?" Stevie's heart jumped when Chris turned around and she could see that her friend had been crying.

"I thought…because of what happened yesterday…the…the kiss…that maybe I had freaked you out…presuming things…throwing myself at you."

"Well, you did kind of freak me out…but in a good way…mostly…I liked it…a lot…I just…" now it was Chris time to stutter "…I just…I didn't mean to scare you…you've been through so much, you don't need some gay chick with a hopeless crush to complicate your life." Chris kicked the ground 'crush', she'd said it and now she was scared, to say the least, of what Stevie's reaction would be.

"So I guess we're both scared, huh?" Stevie let a little smile cross her lips.

"I guess so" Chris allowed for a shy smile to show too as she lifted her head and looked into her friends chestnut eyes.

"You know, I don't know what will happen…I'm scared of getting hurt…and more importantly, I'm scared of hurting you…but I like you…I like you a lot…and yesterday…it felt right…very right…and…I don't want you to leave." Stevie reached out a hand to brush a strand of hair from Chris' face "could you…maybe reconsider?"

Chris took Stevie's hand in hers and held it "are you sure about this?"

"I am" Stevie smiled as she came a step closer and their eyes locked in another intense gaze.

Chris took the last step to close the gap between them and inclined her head a little to be able to cover Stevie's lips with hers. "Well, I think I can be convinced" she smiled as they temporarily separated.

"Yeah? Well' I'll give it my best try then" Stevie moved back in for a deeper kiss. Their bodies came together and Stevie could feel the desire run through her body, this did feel right…so right.

Chris moved in even closer wanting to feel all of Stevie's body against her own as she felt the warmth of the other woman's tongue exploring her mouth; it was clear to her now that this was her dream coming true, how could she have ever thought that she was over it, that she could have just moved on. Even if she had decided to leave her heart and mind would have been left behind by this paddock. And at this moment she was really happy that she had decided to stay; come what may it would be totally worth it just to have had the chance to feel what she was feeling right now.

**THE END**

* * *

So, did you like it? Are you a hopeless romantic like me? Did you find it too cheesy? Or are you just outraged that I could imagine pairing up Stevie with anyone other than Alex, and a woman no less? Please let me know!

There might be a sequel if people show interest…


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